The Human Centipede (2010)

Your flesh is his fantasy.

Written and Directed by Tom Six.

Starring: Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie

2 American tourists are kidnapped by a German doctor who wishes to sew them together mouth to anus to create a "Human Centipede."

Oh. My. Smurf. I'll have to admit that I only watched this because of some morbid curiosity to see what the people on the IMDb horror board was talking about. I've read that this is the most disgusting movie ever made. They were right. I spent most of it recoiling in horror at the graphic surgery scene, and the thought of how the middle link stays alive. (Try not to think about it too hard.) While it is an intense, scary, and disturbing movie, I wouldn't exactly recommend it to anybody.

7/10

Unrated.

This movie contains graphic depictions of surgery, violence, gore, and a very creepy description of how the "HC" feeds.

The DVD contains the trailer, a making of, interview with the director, and an extra scene.

The Runaways (2010)

It's 1975, and they're about to explode.

Directed and written by by Flora Sigismondi

Starring Kristen Stewart, Dakota Fanning, Michael Shannon, Scout Taylor Compton, Stella Maeve, Alia Shawkat, Johnny Lewis, Tatum O'Neil

Cherie Curie (Fanning) and Joan Jett (Stewart) want to create the first all girl rock group. They do this with the help of legendary music producer Kim Fowley (Shannon). After achieving huge success with Lita Ford (Compton) and Sandy West (Maeve) as the rock group The Runaways and their hit "Cherry Bomb," Curie develops a drug and fame addiction that could tear her family and band apart.

This is one of the best music biographies I've seen since Walk the Line. Stewart and Fanning are perfectly cast as Jett and Curie, not just playing them, but becoming them. There were times when I thought that they were using the real Runaways songs, while it was really the actresses singing. The movie gets hard to watch at times. Especially when it deals with Cherie's drug addiction. Fanning plays this part of Curie's life very realistically. I can't recommend this film more.

9/10

Rated R for language, drug use, and sexual content--All involving teens.

This movie is not for children. There is constant foul language, drug use, and a bit of nudity. I'd say 17+

The DVD contains a making of feature, a short promotional casting feature, and trailers for Chloe, Welcome to the Rileys (Starring Kristen Stewart) and The Bounty Hunter.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)

It all begins with a choice.

Directed by: David Slade
Written by: Melissa Rosenberg based on the novel by Stephanie Meyer
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Peter
Faccinelli, Elizabeth Reeser, Kellan Lutz, Ashley Greene, Nikki Reed, Jackson
Rathbone, Bryce Dallas Howard, Billy Burke

Bella Swan (Stewart) is about to graduate from high school. Soon after
graduation, her boyfriend, the vampire Edard Cullen (Pattinson) will make her
immortal. But first, there are mysterious disappearances in Seattle. They
connect this with a band of newborn vampires, brought together by the evil
Victoria (Howard) to kill Bella. To stop them, the Cullen clan form an uneasy
alliance with the tribe of werewolves. Meanwhile, Bella has to sort out her
feelings for the wolf Jacob (Lautner).

This was the best of the Twilight series. While twisting a few things from
the book, it still got most of the story in. David Slade (Who directed 30 Days
of Night and Hard Candy) knows his action, and provided it well in the battle
sequences. I was on the edge of my seat for the final 40 minutes.

While even heavier on the action than the first 2 movies, this one doesn't
skip on the romance. It even amps up the love triangle between Bella, Edward,
and Jacob in a way that is very believable.

As with the other 2 films in the series, this is an epic blast of romance
and action. You even get some awesome backstory with the characters.

9/10

Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of action and violence, and for some
sensuality.

This is the most violent of the Twilight films. Many vampires are killed,
and people are hurt. Some sexuality, as Bella wants to sleep with Edward
while she's still human. And quite a few kisses between the
characters. 13+

While not on DVD yet, I'd guess it's going to be out by October or
November.

Kiss the Girls (1997)

A detective is searching for a deadly collector. His only hope is the one who got away.

Directed by: Gary Fleder
Written by: David Klass
Starring: Morgan Freeman, Ashley Judd, Carey Ewles, Tony Goldwyn

Detective Alex Cross is searching for his kidnapped niece. He gets his first real clue when one of the kidnapper's other victims, Dr. Kate McTiernan (Judd) escapes from her captor. She reveals that the man Cross is looking for is named Cassanova, and that he's collecting his captives, killing them when they disobey his rules.

This is one of my favorite mysteries. Based on the novel by James Patterson, the script keeps very true to the book, omitting minor things that the film is better off without. Freeman and Judd are perfectly cast. I say this because as I read the book the first time, I pictured them in the roles. The suspense is very tightly wound, and the scares come at just the right times in the film. A perfect rainy day movie. I also recommend the sequel Along Came a Spider.

9/10

Rated R for terror, violence, and language.

This film isn't that great for younger members of the family. There is intense, albeit not graphic, violence, sexual situations, and quite a bit of language. A woman is nearly raped, and beaten by the killer. You see pictures of mutilated dead bodies in the police station, and hear descriptions of what happened to them. 16+

The sole feature on the DVD is the theatrical trailer.

My Fake Fiance (2009)

Directed by: Gil Junger
Written by: Howard March
Starring: Melissa Joan Heart and Joseph Lawrence

Jennifer (Heart) and Vance (Lawrence) are near strangers who meet at a friend's wedding. He owes money to a loan shark called The Monkey, and soon after, her moving van is stolen, leaving her with nothing but a box of throw pillows in a big new apartment. She stages a plan to help both of them. They fake a wedding to get the gifts. This way, she can stock her apartment, and he can pay off The Monkey. But things are easier said than done, as they deal with parents, nephews, and the attraction growing between them.

Okay, this is pretty formulaic for a romantic comedy, but that doesn't stop it from being very good. While littered with plot holes (Like where do all her clothes come from since everything she owned was stolen?), and cliches, it's very fun. Both Heart and Lawrence prove that they still have awesome talent, which was last seen in the 90s for both of them. And I recently read that they have a new sitcom airing on ABC Family later this summer. That should be very good if the chemestry on display here is still there.

9/10

Rated TV-PG for some sexual material

This is safe for most of the family. Younger children may not get all of the jokes, but there's nothign dirty here. The sexual material goes no farther than a kiss.

The DVD contains no special features.

The Laramie Project (2002)

Written and directed by Moises Kaufaman
Starring: Dylan Baker, Steve Buscemi, Jeremy Davies, Clea DuVall, Peter Fonda, Camryn Manheim, Joshua Jackson, Laura Linney, Christina Ricci, Frances Sternhagen

In October 1998, Matthew Sheppard; a 21 year old gay man; was bound, beaten, and murdered. Later, a group of theatre students came to his small hometown of Laramie, Wyoming to write a play focusing on the townspeople's reaction. The play, and this film were compiled from over 200 interviews.

This is one of the most horrowing and realistic films I've ever watched. And one that I feel everybody needs to see at some point. While it's made for NBC counterpart "The Matthew Sheppard Story" aired the same night this premiered on HBO, this is the better film, because it focuses on the reactions of those involved in the town. The dramatizations were note perfect, and the documentary style of filming was really incredible. Made it even more realistic.

9/10

Not Rated

This film contains graphic descriptions of what happened the night Matthew was attacked. While the event wasn't depicted, you get the full visual image from the stories pieced together. There is also strong language, including derogitory terms for homosexuals. 15+

The DVD includes a commentary by the real theatre group who are depicted in the film.

Iron Man 2 (2010)

Directed by Jon Faverau

Written by Justin Theroux

Starring Robert Downey Jr., Gwenyth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Mickey Rourke, Scarlett Johansson, Sam Rockwell, Samuel L. Jackson

Billionaire industrialist Tony Stark (Downey Jr.) has now revealed himself as Iron Man, a protector in a metal suit. 6 months after the events of the first one, Tony is attacked by Ivan Vanko (Rourke), a man with a personal vendetta against him. He must also contend with the fallout his announcment had on his friends Pepper Potts (Paltrow) and James Rhodes (Cheadle).

After a streak of semi disappointing comic book sequels, including X3 and Spiderman 3, Iron Man 2 comes as a breath of fresh air. Everything in this movie is great, from the acting, to the writing, and even the effects. Tony Stark is a more rounded out character this time around. He actually has more depth to him, something that I felt the first one was missing. And I love that they padded out the role of Pepper Potts. She was one of my favorite characters the first time around, and it was cool to see her around more.

The villain was awesome. Mickey Rourke is a great actor, and is at his best as Vanko. I know I was supossed to root for Iron Man, but sometimes I found myself rooting for him instead. In the words of Ferb, a hero's a hero, but everybody loves a good villain.

When I first heard about the recasting of James Rhodes from Terrance Howard to Don Cheadle, i was a bit ticked. Howard has been one of my favorite actors since Hustle and Flow and Crash. It all turned out great, though because Cheadle took the character to new levels of toughness that I'm afraid Howard wouldn't be able to pull off.

If you do go see this, make sure to stay after the credits for a nice surprise.

9/10

Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense sci-fi action and violence, and some language.

There isn't much to worry about with this one. There is some intense violence, where people are hurt and possibly killed. Tony is an alcoholic, and drinks frequently, and he makes continuous sexual advances toward Scarlett Johannson's character. I'd say about 11+

Just arrived in theatres 2 weekends ago. It should be on DVD by September.

Leap Year (2010)

Anna planned to propose to her boyfriend on February 29.

Directed by Anand Tucker

Written by: Deborah Kaplan and Harry Elfont

Starring Amy Adams, Matthew Goode, Adam Scott, John Lithgow

Anna (Adams) is in love with her boyfrend Jeremy (Scott). They have been together for four years. After Jeremy fails to propose, Anna takes her father's (Lithgow) advice and follows him to Ireland to propose to him on February 29th; Leap Day. The one day where a marriage proposal can't be refused. Sidetracked by a storm, she winds up in the small villiage of Dingle, where she meets Declan (Goode) who agrees to drive her to Dublin, where Jeremy is. Along the way, Anna realizes that her true love may not be Jeremy after all.

This was one of the cutest romantic comedies I've seen in a while. I love Amy Adams. She is one of the cutest actresses in Hollywood, and I'll watch anything she's in. Sure, the movie is VERY predictable, but it's also a lot of fun, which is most important. The chemestry between Adams and Goode is genuine, and their bickering is very cute.

The one thing I wasn't impressed with is that while he was near the top of the credits, John Lithgow's role is nothing more than a glorified cameo. I've been a fan of his ever since 3rd Rock From the Sun, and thought it would've been cool to see a bit more of his character, who was funny in his scene.

This was the most fun I've had with a love story this year. It will definitely be in my collection soon.

9/10

Rated PG for sensuality and language.

There isn't too much to worry about with this one. There are some curses, most of which are from Declan, and he's using the Irish variations. (example: It's Murphy's fecking Law with you!) And the sensuality is just a few kisses between the 2 leads.

The DVD contians previews for It's Complicated, a very cute ad for the upcoming animated film Despicable Me, and the DVD release for Mamma Mia!, and a few deleted scenes.

The Princess Diaries (2001)

She rocks. She rules. She reigns.

Directed by Garry Marshall
Written by Gwen Wendkos

Starring Anne Hathaway, Julie Andrews, Hector Elizondo, Heather Matarazzo, Mandy Moore

Mia Thermopolis (Hathaway) is just your ordinary 15 year old girl. Until her grandmother (Andrews) informs her that she is the princess of a small European country called Genovia. Now, Mia has to balance "princess lessions" with her normal social life.

This is one of my favorite Disney movies. It's one of those movies that I break out whenever I'm feeling down. And it's still as magical the 100th time as it was that warm August Sunday afternoon that when I saw it in the theatre. And I've always wanted to have a real "foot popping" kiss.

The whole cast is wonderful in their roles. Especially Julie Andrews, who's work I've always loved. And the movie has a special place in my heard because it was the first time I saw Anne Hathaway. I'll watch anything she's in.

This film is perfect for the whole family to enjoy. While being a complete chick flick, I'm pretty sure that some guys out there will enjoy it.

Rated G.

There is absolutley nothing to worry about with this movie. It's the cleanest of Disney movies.

I'm not sure of the DVD features because I'm still rocking the VHS tape. It does have 2 music videos at the end of the film.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

Never sleep again...

Directed by Samuel bayer

Written by Wesley Strick and Eric Heisserer

Starring Jackie Earle Haley, Rooney Mara, Kyle Gallner, Katie Cassidy, Thomas Dekkar, Kellan Lutz, Connie Britton, Clancy Brown

Nancy (Mara) and her friends Kris (Cassidy), Dean (Lutz), Jesse (Dekkar), and Quintin (Gallner) have been having bad dreams lately. Dreams of a disfgured man named Freddy Kreuger (Haley). In these dreams, if Freddy kills them, they die for real.

This was one of the better horror movie remakes. Jackie Earle Haley is an awesome successor to Robert Englund. While being terrifyingly scary, he can also crack a killer joke. His appearance was greusome, and quite scary, right down to the dirty sweater and the dingy fedora. My main reason for wanting to go was Katie Cassidy. I've loved her since her Supernatural days, and have enjoyed her performance on Melrose Place. In this, she was given the role of the typical blonde girl with a great body, but does so much more with it. Katie gives us a sympathetic character to whom you don't want anything to happen. Her screentime was cut way short. I would've loved to have seen a whole movie featuring her character.

This was so worth the price of the ticket. I just might go again, if time and money permits.

9/10

Rated R for strong bloody horror violence, disturbing images, terror and language.

The film contains quite strong graphic violence. Characters are slashed and stabbed repeatedly. Not overly gory, but quite bloody. Nearly everytime Freddy appears onscreen, it is in a jump scare fashion. Tension is sometimes strong. While there is no explicit sex, there are impications that a couple have slept together. Characters drink red bull, take ritalin, and steal adrenaline shots from the hospital to stay awake. There is also frequent strong language from nearly every character. 17+

The DVD should be out around July or August if you prefer to wait.

Homecoming (2009)

A girl never forgets her first love...

Directed by: Morgan J. Freeman

Written by: Katie L. Fetting

Starring: Mischa Barton, Matt Long, Jessica Stroup, Michael Landes

Shelby (Barton) and Mike (Long) were the high school golden couple. When he dumps her to go off to college, she is so devistated that she thinks the relationship is still going on. When he brings his new girlfriend Elizabeth (Stroup) to the high school's homecoming game, Shelby devises a plan to get rid of her so she can have Mike all to herself.

This was a pretty fun little thriller. Mischa Barton (Whom I've crushed on since her Marissa Cooper days) is sublimely over the top in her role as the Kathy Bates like villian, taking sadistic glee in torturing Jessica Stroup in greusome ways. I'm drawing comparisons from the film Misery because the film is basically that one with a younger cast. Where Annie Wilkes had a sledgehammer and needle, Shelby has a syrup bottle and garden clippers. If you're a fan of the crazy bitch" genre (Fatal Attraction, Swimfan, Obsessed), then you'll love this one.

8/10

Rated R for some violence and language.

This film contains some quite graphic violence. Some of this is obscured, but there are 2 particularly greusome scenes that show the violence in full vivid light and color. One involves my biggest ick, the ankle twisting. Language is quite frequent. About 20 or so F words and numerous other swears. Shelby tries to seduce Mike by wearing nothing but a jacket and skimpy underwear. 16+

The DVD includes some deleted scenes and trailers.

Obsessed (2009)

All's fair when love is war.

Directed by Stephen Brill

Written by David Loughry

Starring Beyonce Knowles, Ali Larter, Idris Elba, Jerry O'Connell, Christine Lahti

Sharon (Knowles) and Derek (Elba) are happily married with a young son. One day, Derek finds that he has a new temp assistant named Lisa (Larter). What he doesn't realize is that Lisa always gets what she wants. And what she wants now is Derek. But she won't get him without a fight from Sharon.

I LOVE this movie. Ali Larter can get her crazy on with the best of them. Her fight with Beyonce at the end (It's not a spoiler. All the ads were centered around the Larter/Knowles brawl.) is one of the most well choreographed, and at times brutal fights I've seen in a movie. I believe that this will soon be my new guilty pleasure.

8/10

Rated PG-13 for sexual material including some suggestive dialogue, some violence, and thematic content.

There are some things to worry about with this film. The fight is pretty brutal. There is some language, and quite a bit of sexual material. 15+

The DVD contians trailers for other Sony releases, and a featurette about the fight scene.

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009)

Life is Precious

Directed by: Lee Daniels
Written by: Geoffrey Fletcher
Starring: Gabourey Sidibe, Mo'Nique, Paula Patton, Mariah Carey, Lenny Kravitz

Precious (Sidibe) is 16, overweight, illiterate, and pregnant with her
second child by her father. Her mother (Mo'Nique) abuses and belittles
her every chance she gets. When Precious is sent to an alternative
school, she meets Ms. Rain (Patton), who teaches her that everybody is
worth something in the world, contrary to what her mother says.

This is quite possibly my new favorite movie of 2009. Very gritty,
realistic, and extremely hard to watch at times. Mo'Nique's
transformation to become Precious' mother has become one of my
favorite film performances. She earned that Oscar, and I'm glad she
won it. If you need a good cry, or just plain curious about the film
(like I was), check it out.

10/10

Rated R for child abuse including sexual assault, and pervasive language.

This is NOT for children. The language is very
rough and graphic, Precious is abused physically, emotionally, and
sexually. This film deals with heavy subject matter such as rape,
incest, and child abuse. 18+

Commentary by the director and writer, featurettes, a
deleted scene, and the trailers for this, and other films from studio
Lionsgate.

The Blind Side (2009)

Based on the extraordinary true story.

Written and directed by John Lee Hancock

Starring: Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw, Quinton Aaron, Kathy Bates

Michael Oher (Aaron) is a homeless black teen in Memphis. One rainy night, he is taken in by Leigh Anne Touhy (Bullock). Little did either know they would both change each other's lives forever.

Not only is this my second favorite movie of last year, it is my favorite of Sandra Bullock's performances. When I watch it, I don't see Sandra. She becomes Leigh Anne. The same goes for the rest of the cast. I had no idea that country singer Tim McGraw played her husband until I saw his name in the ending credits. He was virtually unrecognizable in the film.

The story is wonderful, and the fact that it really happened makes it all the more better. By the ending credits each time I watched it, I was thinking about the journey each of the characters went on to become who they are now, and was in tears of happiness.

If you want a good cry one afternoon, you couldn't go wrong with this inspirational story.

10/10

Rated PG-13 for one scene involving brief violence, drug and sexual references.

This movie is perfect for the older members of the family. While it does contain some strong language, it's realistically used. The brief violence is a fist fight where one of those involved pulls a handgun. Michael's biological mother is a crack addict. I'd say about 13+

The DVD contains 4 deleted scenes and trailers for other Warner Bros releases.

Identity (2003)

Identity is a mystery. Identity is a secret. Identity is a killer.

Directed by James Mangold

Written by: Michael Cooney

Starring: John Cusack, Ray Liotta, Amanda Peet, Alfred Molina, Clea DuVall, Jake Busey, Rebecca DeMornay

On a stretch of desert road, there is a motel. This motel becomes the meeting point for 10 strangers stranded by a rainstorm. Ed (Cusack) is a limo driver, escourting the diva TV star Caroline (DeMornay). Paris (Peet) is a prostitute running away from her former life. Rhodes (Liotta) is a cop escourting a convicted killer (Busey) to prison. They and 5 others seek shelter from the storm as one by one, they start to be mysterously, and brutally murdered.

This is one of my favorite murder mysteries. I fell in love with it in my senior year of high school and a friend of mine showed it to me. But I noticed something odd. During the final 15 minutes, he kept watching me instead of the movie. He said that he wanted to see my reaction to the twist. Now whenever I show it to them, I do the same. This is one of those OMFG, that did not just happen movies, where you will never guess the next thing that is going to happen.

I also found that even knowing what happens, the film holds up to repeat viewings. I've seen it about 7 times now, and each time, it gets a better. Everybody in it is perfectly cast. Even Amanda Peet. This is one of the few times I've enjoyed her in a film. Rebecca DeMornay is perfect in her role as a bitchy, has-been Diva who still thinks her 15 minutes haven't ended. And Clea DuVall, one of my favorite actresses, while tragically given little to do but cry and scream, still shines. Although that opinion is based on the fact that I'd watch her read a phone book for 2 hours.

If on a rainy day, you're looking for a good thriller with a great story, you should check this out.

9/10

Rated R for strong violence and language.

The film goes the Se7en route of violence. It doesn't show many of the murders themselves, but rather the aftermath. There is quite a bit of blood. And it contains frequent strong language. 15+

The DVD includes a lot of features, including making of documentaries, deleted scenes, and an extended version with 1 minute of extra footage that adds a bit to the story.

Ten Inch Hero (2007)

Stop in, grab a sandwich, fall in love.

Written by: Betsy Moris

Directed by: David McKay

Starring: Elizabeth Harnois, Danneel Harris, Jensen Ackles, Clea DuVall, Sean Patrick Flannery, Alice Krige, John Doe

At Beach City Gril in Santa Cruz, California, the employees are 4 very close friends. Piper (Harnois) is an artist with a secret who is falling for single father Noah (Flannery); Tish (Harris) is a wild child at heart who's conquests number in the high double digits; Jen (DuVall) is a shy wallflower who has found possible companionship with a mysterious online buddy; and Priestly (Ackles) is the funky haired guy who dishes advice to everyone else. These 4 friends will find love in the most unexpected ways and places.

This is my favorite movie ever. Everything about it is perfect, from the cast, to the writing. Everyone who watches this can find a character to relate to. I can't figure out a reason why it took so long for this film to get released. I've shown it to many of my friends, and they all agree that it is a whole lot better than most of the crap that is released theatrically (see my review for Armored).

The movie has the right balance of funny, sweet, and dramatic. By the end, you will have run through every one of your emotions. I watch it on rainy days, or whenever I need a happy, pick me up cry.

10/10

While the film isn't rated, I'd say it would be a strong candidate for an R. There is infrequent strong language, 2 quite graphic sex scenes with full frontal nudity, and sexual references all around. (Like a scene where Piper and Tish teach Jen about "self satisfaction") 17+

The DVD includes a featurette on the music, a making of documentary, commentary, deleted scenes that could've easily been in the film, and the trailer. You can only get it at Blockbuter, but if you want to own it, it's quite cheap.

TRAILER ALERT!!! Sex and the City 2 (2010)

Carrie On



Written and Directed by Michael Patrick King

Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrall, Kristen Davis, Chris Noth

A peek into the lives of Carrie (Parker), Samantha (Cattrall), Charlotte (Davis), and Miranda (Nix0n) 2 years after the events of the first Sex and the City film.


I can not freaking wait for this movie. I have been a huge fan of SATC since 2008 when a few friends started talking about it. I then saw the trailer for the first film before Juno. I was immediately hooked. I started watching reruns on TBS and renting the DVDs. I now own all 6 seasons on DVD and am currently marathoning them in preperation for the sequel. You can bet I'll be there opening weekend.


Pros:
Retains all of the humor of the series.

Charlotte: How are you going to swallow all of those?
(Points to Samantha's handful of pills)
Samantha: Have we met?

Looks like it will have some great drama (AIDEN?!!!)
The trip to Moracco will be a great plot device.

Cons:
The use of Jay-Z and Alicia Keys' song New York State of Mind. I HATE THAT SONG!


Sex and the City 2 is most likely going to be rated R and will be in theatres on May 27th.

Watch the trailer here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5-aOpznm44

The Fourth Kind (2009)

In the end, what you believe is yours to decide.

Written and Directed by Olatunde Osunsanmi

Starring: Milla Jovovich, Will Patton, and Elias Koteas

A dramatization of events in Nome, Alaska taking place between October 1st and 9th of 2000, focusing on Dr. Abbey Tyler (Jovovich), a psychologist who believes the town's high rate of missing persons is due to alien abductions.

This film had a pretty cool way to tell the story. Instead of a straightforward dramitzation, it's actually filmed footage of Jovovich and the other actors alonside the "real" footage of the "real" people involved. The reason I put "real" in quotation marks is because Universal Pictures has come out and said outright that the movie is fiction. Simple research can prove that it was all made up, but you forget about that once you really get sucked up into the movie.

Most of what is displayed is very disturbing. There are some scenes that I had to look away from and fast forward through because they were too scary. Trust me, this one will be in my DVD collection.

7/10

Rated PG-13 for violent/disturbing images, some terror, thematic elements and brief sexuality.

Despite the PG-13 rating, I wouldn't recommend this to anybody under 16. It is very scary, and will most likely result in nightmares.

The only feature on the DVD is deleted scenes and trailers for Smokin' Aces 2 and Pirate Radio.

Armored (2009)

They have a plan to catch EVERYBODY off guard.

Directed by Nimrod Antal

Written by: James V. Simpson

Starring: Matt Dillon, Lawrence Fishbourne, Columbus Short, Jean Reno, Skeet Ulrich, Milo Ventimiglia

A newbie armored truck guard is coerced by the veterans on the squad into robbing the truck he's driving.

Are you fucking kidding me? Nothing in the film makes any sense, from the motive (Hey, let's just rob the truck we're driving!), to the acting (You can practically hear Fishbourne thinking "I don't need this crap. CBS is signing all my paychecks from now on!"), to the writing (Does it really take 30 minutes for a man to knock the hinges off of a truck door? In real time?). Do yourself a favor. Skip it. This is 88 minutes I wish I had back.

Really, what happened to these actors? They all used to do such strong roles in great movies. Dillon had Crash, Fishbourne was awesome as Ike Turner in What's Love Got to Do With It? I guess they all had their rent come due at the same time.

4/10

I didn't even watch any of the special features, so I can't tell what was on it.

I hope Antal does a better job at directing Predators this fall.

The Boondock Saints (1999)

Before the MacManus Brothers get to Heaven, they're gonna raise a little hell.


Written and directed by Troy Duffy
Starring: Sean Patrick Flannery, Norman Reedus, Willem Dafoe, Billy Connolly, David Della Rocco

Fraternal twins Connor (Flannery) and Murphy MacManus (Reedus) get into a bit of a scuffle one St. Patrick's Day, which they survive on pure dumb luck. (A falling toilet gets most of the credit) This causes them to belive that they're on a mission from God to kill the whole of the Boston underground mafia. Hot on their trail is Agent Paul Smecker (Dafoe) who has his own wild theories about how everything goes down.

This is one of my favorite action movies. Everything that happens is so outrageous that you have to love it. The characters are all larger than life, and the dialogue is great. There isn't much I can say without giving it all away.

If you do watch this, you have to see the unrated director's cut. The film was meant to be released in May 1999, but was held back and had all of the violence cut out because of the Columbine attacks in April of 99. Finally, after the film had gained a sizable cult following was Troy Duffy allowed to release his true version.

A few warnings about the film: There is nonstop bad language in it. The word "fuck" is used at least 250 times. The violence in the unrated cut is substantial. Many of the death scenes are super bloody. 17+

The Unrated DVD contains bloopers, deleted scenes, the original trailer, and a printable script.

If you can, you should check this one out. It's so much fun.

10/10

Welcome!

If you know me, you know I love movies. I love action, comedy, horror, drama, and everything in between. I used to review movies over on the IMDb message boards, but my posts kept getting deleted. I figured a Blog would be the best way to get back into the game. Whenever I watch a movie either for the first time, or revisit a favorite, I'll post a review.

I hope you guys enjoy it, and stay with me for quite a while.